A woman from the Austin area is doing everything she can to preserve the memory of her husband through a heartfelt love song as his condition deteriorates. Cassandra and Clyde Loftis first crossed paths at work in 1999, where she was a glass blower and he was one of her managers. Their relationship blossomed into romance, leading to their marriage a decade later in 2009.
At their wedding reception, Clyde surprised Cassandra with a song he had written, showcasing his lifelong passion for music. Having played guitar since the age of eight, he had hoped to achieve rock star status. “I’m not bragging, but I can play like hell,” he stated confidently. His musical journey continued through his Navy service and various bands formed with friends, making music an intrinsic part of his identity.
“He had a song recorded for our first dance,” Cassandra recalled fondly. “The most amazing, wonderful thing.” The couple enjoyed a fulfilling life together, facing typical ups and downs until 2018, when Cassandra began noticing changes in Clyde. He started forgetting simple tasks and responding with agitation, prompting concerns from both her and his coworkers.
Ultimately, Clyde was forced to leave his job, and after extensive consultations with medical professionals, he received a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease. “I understand it. And I’m not mad. Now, at first it was,” Clyde admitted, struggling to articulate his thoughts. “But with her and me… there’s no way to get hurt.”
Since his diagnosis, which came seven years ago, Clyde has lost many of the abilities that once defined him, including his math and language skills. After five decades of playing guitar, he set the instrument aside, unable to confront the reality of his losses. “He looks at a lot of pictures of himself and he thinks about all of the people he has been — all of the men he has been — and he’s just trying to hold on to who he was,” Cassandra explained. “And it’s hard.”
However, a visit to Guitar Center reignited Clyde’s passion for music. “I don’t want to be crude, but I just said, ‘You know what? F- – – that. Do it. You can do it,’” he shared. Their home studio now houses several guitars, and last July, Clyde found himself immersed in playing again, though with a mix of confidence and uncertainty.
“I love hearing him play, but it’s kind of bittersweet because I was there when he was at his peak,” Cassandra remarked. When reflecting on his thoughts while playing, Clyde admitted, “I just let it go. It’s in me.”
During a recent visit in January, a noticeable change was evident in the couple’s dynamic. Cassandra appeared fatigued, while Clyde was more withdrawn. “Some days he’s almost nonverbal,” she disclosed. “Somebody else had to tell me that, because your brain fills in the blanks of the conversation. I feel like we’ve been having amazing intellectual conversations, but he says one or two words.”
Despite the challenges, Cassandra remains steadfast in her commitment to Clyde, often reassuring him of her presence. “He asks me to marry him over and over and over again, and I always say yes. Right, babe?” she asked, to which Clyde simply responded with, “What?”
His guitar has become less of a focus lately, but Clyde expressed a desire to write a new song together, reminiscent of the piece he composed for their first dance. This time, however, they aimed to incorporate lyrics. While Clyde would provide the music from an old recording, Cassandra would pen the lyrics and sing.
She struggled with the lyrics initially, discarding her first draft for being too self-centered, focusing more on her grief than their shared journey. After several revisions, she believes she has finally captured their story in a song titled “We Are So Lucky.”
The lyrics reflect their enduring bond:
Remember us in your dreams tonight.
Remember me in the morning.
We are Cass and Clyde.
And we will be until the end of time.
We are so lucky.
While Cassandra acknowledges that the song may not be perfect, she emphasizes that perfection is not the aim. The essence of their love story lies in its authenticity, capturing the genuine emotions they share, even as Clyde struggles to recognize her at times. “We should all be so lucky,” she concludes.
