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DALLAS — RJ Harber faced a daunting week as he approached what would have been his youngest daughter’s 12th birthday. Halloween, which typically saw his daughters enjoying trick-or-treating with friends, was just days away. Following that, All Souls’ Day would bring a somber moment when the deacon at their church would read the names of both girls among those lost in the past year.
A memorial bench for Blair Harber stands outside St. Rita Catholic School in Dallas, adorned with drawings of her favorite things by her peers. This dedication took place on the Thursday after Brooke Harber’s birthday, honoring both sisters who tragically lost their lives alongside their grandparents in a flood during a family vacation in Central Texas. Friends painted the benches with symbols representing the girls: a soccer ball, a lacrosse ball, and cat prints for Brooke; flowers, a puppy pawprint, and a cross for Blair. Brooke’s classmates celebrated her memory with red velvet cakes from her favorite bakery.
Since that fateful night, RJ, 44, and Annie, 43, have been engulfed in grief. They woke to a storm, stepping into their home filled with water while trying to escape through a window. RJ tried to reach his daughters and parents, who were staying in a nearby home, but the raging waters of the swollen river made it impossible.
The flood claimed over 100 lives, submerging neighborhoods and parks. In the aftermath, the Harbers found themselves grappling with a profound sorrow, questioning their survival while being unable to process the loss of their children fully. RJ and Annie resolved to honor the lessons they taught their daughters about perseverance, leaning into their faith and support from their community.
“The wound is still just wide open,” RJ expressed. “Without our faith, each other, and our community, I can’t imagine how we would cope through the holidays.”
What were once vibrant weekends filled with family activities now felt aimless and heavy. Friends rallied around them, with one delivering a daily smoothie to Annie, who struggled to eat. In the evenings, RJ would walk with a friend and discuss whatever was on his mind, sometimes revisiting memories of his daughters.
RJ, a criminal defense attorney, has taken up biking to cope, while Annie has stepped away from her teaching position to walk with a colleague each morning. They have sought guidance from Catholic priests and engaged in therapy sessions as they navigate their grief.
As the months passed, the couple braced themselves for Brooke’s birthday on November 6, followed by Thanksgiving and holiday celebrations, all without their lively Brooke and serene Blair. Brooke was a spirited athlete, known for her high ponytail and boundless energy, while Blair was gentle and nurturing, dedicated to her faith and family.
“I’m just trying to make them proud, but I don’t want to live without them,” Annie lamented. “I don’t know how to live without them.”
The last memory Annie holds of her daughters is of tucking them into bed at their riverside home, whispering her nightly affirmation: “I love you, always and forever.”
For months, RJ has awakened each day haunted by visions of that night in the kayak, battling the raging current to reach his family.
“My babies,” Annie cried as they fled their home. The river was a torrent, and RJ struggled against it, fearing for the lives of his daughters and parents who slept just above the rising waters. He later realized that his father, who suffered from Parkinson’s Disease, might not have survived the night.
Memories of joyful summers spent at the river flooded RJ’s mind as he fought the water that night. The family home, where they created cherished memories, had always been a place of happiness, filled with laughter and togetherness.
In the days leading up to July 4, everything seemed perfect. The girls helped prepare for a neighborhood party, and on the third, they enjoyed horseback riding and swimming together. But in that kayak, RJ faced a harrowing decision: to risk his life to save his daughters or to trust that they would endure the storm.
Ultimately, he turned back, a choice that haunts him daily. Hours later, he would receive a text from Brooke: “I love you.” His reply, sent from a place of safety, felt inadequate.
As dawn broke on July 4, the Harbers realized their home was gone, along with the house where their daughters had been staying. It wasn’t until later that day that the floodwaters receded enough for them to escape the neighborhood.
Desperate for answers, RJ joined a search for his family, praying they had found refuge. Annie, airlifted to safety, felt overwhelming guilt, questioning every decision made that night.
Annie had always dreamed of being a mother, naming her first child Blair long before she was born. She relocated to Dallas for work, where a chance encounter led her to RJ. They married in 2010 and welcomed their daughters into a life filled with love.
“Our children were everything to us,” RJ reflected, as they both cherished the unique personalities of Blair and Brooke.
Blair was the gentle soul who nurtured her friends, while Brooke was a vibrant spirit, full of energy and kindness. Their lives were intertwined with family, friends, and a love for animals, dreaming of futures as a veterinarian and zookeeper.
Each morning, Annie would drive her daughters to St. Rita Catholic School, where they thrived academically and socially. She dedicated herself to helping children with learning disabilities, inspired by her daughters’ experiences with dyslexia.
In the wake of their loss, friends have circled around the Harbers, providing both emotional support and practical help. Maureen Hodges took it upon herself to visit often, while others offered distractions and companionship. They sought to remind the couple of their love and support.
The Harbers began to heal in small ways, planting a tree where their daughters’ trampoline once stood and adopting a puppy to bring new joy into their lives. They also initiated a fund to support causes meaningful to Brooke and Blair, ensuring their memories live on.
The school community organized a basketball tournament to honor Brooke, fostering a spirit of togetherness and remembrance. As RJ and Annie participated, they felt the presence of their daughters in the love and support surrounding them.
As the tournament concluded, RJ and Annie found solace in each other, acknowledging the overwhelming emotions of the day. They held fast to the belief that their daughters were in a place of peace, cared for by their grandparents, and looked forward to the possibility of a new child in their future.
“Positive today. Positive today. Positive today,” RJ affirmed, determined to celebrate their daughters’ memories while navigating their grief together.
